Chapter 07 Ambiguity
He should not be so frightened by what he said yesterday that he deliberately avoids himself. Xia Huixi thought for a moment, a faint bitter smile appeared on her lips. In fact, it should be herself who feels embarrassed, right? Moreover, neither of them is a child anymore; when it comes to emotions and work or study, they naturally have the ability to distinguish clearly.
Xia Huixi stiffly took the room card, glanced at Su Ruhao, and said with a faint smile: "I found it. Would you like to come to my room for a while?"
When Xia Huixi woke up in the morning, she habitually reached for that notebook, but after a moment of hesitation, she found that not a single word had been written down. She blinked her eyes; this could truly be considered a marvelous experience, as she had actually dreamt nothing throughout the night. It was quite rare, and after the date of this day, she wrote down "none," leaving a line of pure white.
The old professor continued after taking a sip of water: "In such situations, the specifics of each case may vary. However, there is only one principle of treatment: leading by example must precede teaching by words. You must reflect on whether you have been honest with the patient. Have you wholeheartedly stood in their position? If not, then you must do so. Otherwise, you will not be able to enter their world, nor will you be able to help them." Have you wholeheartedly stood in their position? If not, then you must do so. Otherwise, you will not be able to enter their world, nor will you be able to help them.
Xia Huixi was naturally unaware of what he was thinking. Upon seeing him, she stood up calmly and said, "Do you have a moment? I would like to say a few words, and it won't take long."
No one spoke first. At this moment, the silence far surpasses any sound.
He leaned comfortably against the sofa, revealing a perfect jawline, and said nonchalantly: "Sorry"
The voice was clear and gentle, and the young and beautiful girl did not pay much attention to the gaze focused on her at that moment. Her eyes were constantly following Professor Jung, eagerly awaiting his response
Indeed. Can I naively believe that you came here for me?
Go find you, my room card is missing
The originally spacious suite suddenly felt constricted. The glow of the table lamp perfectly enclosed them within such a small arc, with merely an arm's length between them. He could see her skin, as white as snow, with the orange-yellow light casting a nearly rosy hue on her cheeks
At this, Pei Yueze instead smiled, his expression relaxing: "Alright."
Su Ruhao turned on the television, and the sound of music came through. He suddenly spoke casually, "Do you have anything to say to me?"
Pei Yueze gently repeated to her: "Is there a special favor?"
Once again, not receiving his affirmative response inevitably left her feeling frustrated. Xia Huixi lowered her head and sighed, covering her cheeks. This kind of anxiety and anticipation was, for her, entirely a novel experience.
Xia Huixi involuntarily stopped writing, recalling the dream she often had
In fact, such situations can be discerned. For instance, a doctor can internally recognize whether a compensatory mentality has emerged
Xia Huixi let out a soft "oh," lowered her gaze, and asked somewhat unnaturally, "Is he ill?"
There was a somewhat unexpected flavor to it, as Xia Huixi choked on a mouthful of hard bread that got stuck in her throat
Pei Yueze's expression remained somewhat languid, as if he knew what she was about to say. His tone was not urgent as he sat down on the sofa opposite her, gesturing for her to take a seat as well, and smilingly said, "I have time"
Xia Huixi lowered her head and rummaged through her pocket for the room card, then vaguely remembered that she had probably left it in the room upstairs just moments ago. However, at this moment, she was unwilling to go back up to look for Pei Yueze. Thus, she struggled to recall Su Ruhao's room number, changed direction, and headed to find him
In the time that follows, if you are willing, I can answer some questions
Su Ruhao watched the figure of Assistant Zhang as she walked away, then glanced at her thoughtfully and nodded.
When the door opened at 2205, Pei Yueze must have already known it was her, showing little surprise. A faint smile appeared at the corners of his mouth as he stepped aside to invite her in
Xia Huixi instinctively leaned forward, seemingly trying to avoid his ambiguous and comforting touch. However, he had no intention of letting her go so easily, placing his hands on her shoulders once more, remaining silent, allowing this emotion to intensify unconsciously
At this moment, she looked at Director Peng in disbelief, as the sudden surprise completely overwhelmed all her emotions. Soon after, she felt a bit of regret, as she was unprepared and could not organize her thoughts in an instant, so she could only follow Director Peng into the venue
Xia Huixi felt a sudden jolt in her heart, as if this statement was directed at her. She recalled last night in Pei Yueze's room, where his gaze seemed to shimmer with a silvery light, both alluring and warm, leaving her with an unsettling feeling as if she had been tempted.
By some divine intervention, Xia Huixi for the first time lied to her mentor: "No, this case is something I heard from a senior sister outside last time; I just thought of it and asked."
The hand that was originally gently resting on her shoulder suddenly tightened. Su Ruhao's lips curled into a seemingly indifferent smile as he said slowly, "Why tell me?" His gaze was inexplicably heavy and intense, contrasting sharply with that smile. As Xia Huixi looked up at his expression, she felt an inexplicable thrill.
When Pei Yueze came out again, he had changed into a set of loungewear. He paused at the door and saw the woman on the sofa wearing a white shirt and gray trousers, with a slender light sapphire blue belt at her waist. Her knees were together, slightly tilted to one side, exuding an air of elegance.
"Miss Xia, here is your room card." Assistant Zhang returned the room card to her and slightly nodded, "I sincerely apologize for what happened earlier."
Her body tilted at a somewhat strange angle, yet she paused, slowly turning her head to gaze directly at Su Ruhao through the mirror. She was below, while he was above; perhaps their gazes converged in the bright center of the mirror, or perhaps it was merely a faint, dazzling spot of light that gradually refracted her thoughts.
Xia Huixi clenched her fists, feeling a certain uncontrollable tension, to the extent that her voice trembled while speaking, yet her eyes showed no signs of avoidance, revealing an indescribable honesty: "I should tell you this. Pei Yueze is also here. I can't be sure if he came for me; it could be, or it might not be..."
If it is not possible to maintain a normal relationship with the patient throughout the treatment process, how should the doctor adjust
Xia Huixi's face turned red from holding back, yet she still could not speak. He handed her the mineral water beside him and said: "Take your time drinking"
It was not until they reached the venue that Professor Peng asked her: "Have you been providing consulting services for others recently?" The old professor was clearly displeased with this beloved student for concealing something from him, and his tone was direct and stern
Xia Huixi later learned that Professor Jung's participation in their group's discussion was also a last-minute decision. It is said that in recent years he has been dedicated to the integration of psychotherapy and Eastern thought, and thus eagerly joined their group's seminar
He spoke about a previous case of his. A female patient exhibited emotional detachment, and during the course of treatment, her repressed emotions were projected onto the doctor. In other words, the patient became infatuated with her psychotherapist. When discussing such a delicate issue, the elderly man maintained a calm tone, placed his glasses on the table in front of him, intertwined his fingers, and slowly said, "I made my patient understand that she has the capacity to love. As for her feelings towards me, they arose through the bridge of the therapeutic relationship. This requires the doctor to remain alert at all times and to sever this connection at the appropriate moment. In this way, the patient's projection disappears, and the illness is cured, resulting in a win-win situation."
On the nearby mahogany table lay a laptop. With a beep, it signaled a new email. Xia Huixi knew that he was extremely busy and that the conversation was making no progress, so she stood up and said, "Then I will take my leave."
Mr. Pei, we have met before
She pondered for a moment and smiled: "I have reflected on my attitude towards you. This time, I originally intended to have an honest conversation with you. Unfortunately, you are truly an uncooperative client."
He saw her gaze shimmering like scattered diamonds, feeling dazzled, and his heartbeat momentarily lost its rhythm
He raised his eyebrows slightly and avoided answering: "I will go change my clothes"
For no particular reason
Xia Huixi did not seem to be waiting for his response; after saying this, she quickly lowered her head, resembling a small ostrich, and fell silent again
Su Ruhao slowly leaned down, kissing the fragrant and soft strands of her hair, a calm smile blossoming in his heart. Aware of her current naivety and lack of understanding of romance, he felt his heart tremble slightly, and thus quickly straightened up, softly saying: "I understand. I will not misunderstand."
In his lifetime, Su Ruhao has confessed to others and has also been confessed to. He is regarded as a genius student in the field of psychological research by his professors. He is well-versed in and can master the psychological states of his conversation partners. He has read affection, shyness, and unease from the expressions of the girls who admire him. Her words, even if they do not qualify as a confession, are understood by him; for someone as calm and restrained as she is, to candidly express such a sentiment is already a significant challenge.
Pei Yueze gazed at her, instinctively leaning forward to grasp her wrist. Her wrist bones were delicate, the skin touching his palm soft and warm. Pei Yueze applied slight pressure, compelling her to sit down: "What do you want to discuss?"
He remains imperturbable. However, Xia Huixi noticed his fist clenching and then gradually relaxing, and suddenly thought that perhaps every time he faced her, he was not necessarily as composed and in control as he appeared on the surface
A faint voice called out to him, and Xia Huixi realized that Su Ruhao was standing behind a large potted plant, staring at her with a blank expression
Perhaps in light of her past good conduct, Director Peng did not say much, merely nodding and saying: "That is good. If you find yourself in such a mindset, I do not wish for you to hide it from me"
When she had calmed down slightly, the rhythmic patting had transformed into another form. Su Ruhao's palm gently stroked along the delicate curve of her spine, thoughtfully helping her to relax. ... Through the soft fabric of her sweater, he seemed to feel the tender texture of her back ... and the increasingly stiff posture.
He smiled gently as he looked at the dressing mirror to one side, her cheeks increasingly flushed, as if rouge had been dipped in water, tinting a pool of stream water with a floral elegance. He was increasingly reluctant to let go, his movements repeatedly softening and slowing, as if he wanted to pour this moment into an inkstone, grinding out ink drops that were as enduring as ancient times, never to fade.
He seemed to have just taken a shower, wearing the hotel bathrobe, with slightly damp hair, a few strands falling onto his forehead, appearing dark and glossy under the light. This attire made Xia Huixi feel somewhat awkward; she avoided looking at his chest exposed by the white bathrobe and the tall, slender figure accentuated by the casually tied belt, and said as calmly as possible: "I came to see you, are you feeling any better?"
Professor Jung's gaze was fixed upon her; this young Oriental scholar had a sharp and refreshing profile, and her bright eyes appeared even more captivating due to her current thirst for knowledge. He smiled as well: "Although I cannot know your case, I still thank you for your question"
Upon thinking of this, she no longer felt conflicted and heard Professor Peng say: "Today, Professor Jung will participate in our group's discussion. If there are any questions, please take the opportunity to ask."
She had evidently noticed him after a moment, lifting her face slightly, her eyes clear and as beautiful as pearls and jade
Xia Huixi supported her chin and thought for a moment, then said: "Well, let me go first. I will talk about how I got to know you. However, I suppose you no longer remember it."
Xia Huixi pondered for a moment and calmly and swiftly posed the question
Until he left, Xia Huixi did not dare to look back. The girl in the mirror smiled somewhat forcedly. It cannot be said that she regretted it, but there was indeed a sense of astonishment deep in her heart—astonished at why she suddenly broke the previously tranquil state of her mind and impulsively voiced this matter that weighed on her heart.
The hot water was bubbling away, while Xia Huixi nibbled on her bread. Dressed in a sea-blue thin sweater with a V-neck, her exposed neck revealed delicate, snow-white skin, exuding an air of fragility. She slightly lowered her head, resembling a child who had made a mistake, remaining silent.
They were not late, yet Professor Jung was already seated there early, engrossed in his books. The elderly man wore a wool suit, his hair silver and somewhat sparse, with a pair of round metal-framed glasses slightly slipping down his slightly hooked nose. Occasionally, he would speak softly with those around him, his gaze calm and focused.
After a moment of calm, Xia Huixi pressed her lips together, her tone becoming increasingly serious: "I do not wish to deceive you." Taking a deep breath, she finally said earnestly, "Because I do not want you to misunderstand."
In the morning, there was a group discussion. Xia Huixi arrived at the hall a little earlier than the scheduled time. She originally intended to call Su Ruhao on the way, but a lingering sense of unease and awkwardness held her back, so she went straight down the elevator. After waiting for a while, Professor Peng came over from a distance, beckoning her to walk together, while saying: "Xiao Su said he feels a bit unwell and wants to sleep a little longer, let's go."
When the formal discussion began, he, like others, opened his notebook, jotting down notes whenever he encountered confusion or brilliance, resembling a diligent student, indistinguishable from the ordinary participants. However, it was evident that others would not let such a good opportunity pass. As soon as an Indian professor finished speaking, someone immediately suggested that Professor Jung share his thoughts.
Young lady, I am more than happy to address your question. Professor Jung lowered his head, gazing slightly above the lenses, and smiled gently, "I do not understand what you mean by 'abnormal' relationships. Generally speaking, it may refer to a sense of alienation—disagreement with the behaviors or thoughts exhibited by the patient."
When he sat down again, he seemed to thoroughly enjoy the tranquility of the moment alone with her. His long fingers gently brushed against a row of switches on the side wall, and with a click, he turned off the chandelier. Only a small table lamp remained on the small table connecting the two sofas, casting soft light that played upon their silhouettes in varying shades.
Where do you plan to go
In the corner where the turn occurs, there stands a statue of a great angel, one hand holding a spear and the other cradling a flame, using its own immaculate purity to intimidate all beings, with a faint, almost imperceptible smile at the corners of its mouth, appearing somewhat strangely cold in the silent corridor
This statement left Pei Yueze somewhat taken aback. After a pause, he noncommittally replied, "Oh?"
In fact, even her serious expression was merely a habitual means to mask her nervous reactions. However, at this moment, he had no time to consider anything else; his gaze gradually softened, imbued with a kind of emotion that even he found difficult to comprehend, as he focused on her beautifully shaped lips. It was as if something had opened a crack in his heart, and a liquid as sweet as honey quietly poured in, leaving him, who was usually so composed, astonished yet uncontrollably delighted.
Perhaps to conceal the wound that has yet to heal, she did not style her bangs as usual, allowing a strand to fall casually, curling slightly and resting by her ear, reminiscent of the willow branches swaying by the river, astonishingly delicate.
Perhaps because of this response, Su Ruhao's tense expression finally began to relax slowly. He sighed and gestured to the paper bag in his hand: "I brought you some food, I've been waiting for a while. You were not here all this time."
Pei Yueze watched her sit down, then walked to the table, closed the notebook, and smiled at her against the light: "Let's talk slowly"
He slowly walked in and patted her shoulder: "Then let's go to my room." In fact, he did not intend to ask for her opinion, but for some reason, Xia Huixi suddenly felt a bit awkward. As she hesitated whether to tell him where she had been, someone hurriedly walked down the corridor.
At this moment, Xia Huixi saw his slightly surprised expression, and the confusion in her heart was no less than his, yet she could only continue speaking: "Do you have no impression at all?"
It's nothing, perhaps I haven't adjusted to the time difference yet, and I've injured the back of my hand again. I went to see him, and he is just lying there resting
She nodded and sincerely said thank you with respect
Such a simple sentence caused him to be lost in thought for a full thirty seconds
However, he shifted his tone, becoming significantly more serious than before: "What I want to discuss is the psychological state of the doctors themselves. Generally, after a consultation or treatment concludes, once the intense emotions of the client dissipate, it is inevitable that the psychologist may experience a sense of loss or psychological discomfort. This is also a point I have consistently emphasized: during the psychological counseling process, doctors must remain vigilant to prevent themselves from being 'infected' by the emotions of their patients."
Professor Jung took off his glasses and did not refuse
Pei Yueze subtly restrained the impulse within his heart, slowly leaning back on the sofa, his tone no longer as cold as it used to be: "What shall we talk about?"
After returning to her room, she finally had the opportunity to slowly reflect on the answers provided by Professor Jung, and she developed an objective attitude towards her relationship with Pei Yueze. There was a subtle feeling of enlightenment. She thought for a long time and ultimately decided to seek out Pei Yueze for a conversation
As always, whenever something happened to her, he would always appear at the first moment—this time, Su Ruhao walked up to her, gently patted her back, and seemed somewhat amused: "Why are you eating so fast?"
This indifferent attitude left Xia Huixi feeling quite perplexed, and her speech gradually quickened: "So, if that's the case, we haven't had much interaction before. May I ask what has led you to take such a favorable view of me?"
If it were an ordinary person, facing the handsome expression and focused tone of the man opposite, there would inevitably be a sense of shallow vanity. However, Xia Huixi suppressed the restlessness in her heart with great effort and lowered her tone to ask him: "Why?"